Well, It looks like I failed...
I couldn't do it. I lost everything and now I'm ready to pack my things. The only thing stopping me is a miracle...sometime within the next 24 hours. Highly unlikely but you never know. I'll be selling my things and I'll be ready to catch a flight to Georgia to reside with my parents. I can't believe I failed...I can't believe it had to end this way.
I'll be leaving now...
It was a good shot and a fun ride.
Monday, March 30, 2009
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Time is running out
If you have something to say
Say it now
Because things fade away
and time is running out
You do know that these things change
parting ways
It's getting late
My flight arrives today
You know that I'm fading out
I don't care
But I think you do
I can tell by your stare
So why don't you catch me
before I leave
Decide quickly
Because time is running empty
Say it now
Because things fade away
and time is running out
You do know that these things change
parting ways
It's getting late
My flight arrives today
You know that I'm fading out
I don't care
But I think you do
I can tell by your stare
So why don't you catch me
before I leave
Decide quickly
Because time is running empty
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
A New Life
Sometimes I wish I never had this pride inside
It keeps me from dropping my things and hide
I just want to run away this time
I want to come home and start a brand new life
Sometimes I wish I never had this will
To make something happen but time stood still
I don't want to climb this hill
I want to come home and start a brand new life
Sometimes I wish I never had this heart
Who knew that love would be so hard
I drained my pain inside a drinking bar
I want to come home and start a brand new life
Sometimes I wish I never felt like this
I enjoyed being numb and feeling quite robotic
I don't want to go back to it
But I want to come home and start a brand new life
It keeps me from dropping my things and hide
I just want to run away this time
I want to come home and start a brand new life
Sometimes I wish I never had this will
To make something happen but time stood still
I don't want to climb this hill
I want to come home and start a brand new life
Sometimes I wish I never had this heart
Who knew that love would be so hard
I drained my pain inside a drinking bar
I want to come home and start a brand new life
Sometimes I wish I never felt like this
I enjoyed being numb and feeling quite robotic
I don't want to go back to it
But I want to come home and start a brand new life
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Let's just put it a 2nd way...
Fuck me....
How could I have just opened up so quick and easy. How could I have just used those 3 sacred yet deadly words without remembering it's value. Tsk tsk to myself. But despite of what I did to myself, It does not seem bother me as much as past battles. Perhaps I've grown numb to it? Or maybe a natural expectancy so my body would be earlier prepared for what seems to constantly happen when I act upon excitement and high hopes.
I'm back in limbo. Another chapter ends..no...wait....Mini-Saga...ya that sounds cooler. The ride is over and now I'm off to find another unnecessarily long line for the next attraction. "?? wait time" for another 10 second rush. These are those times when loneliness decides to kick in and pound my face with one of those blow up hammers from the carnival. But at the same time I guess it's a good thing. I'm caught up with so many other things going on anyways and I can't let any of this get me down or in the way. I literally can't afford it. I need to sell policies even if im sobbing in front of the clients. Hell, it might even get them to "pity buy" from me.
Speaking of business, It seems to be going okay. Not amazing but okay. I'm definitely making more, but it seems like things are slowly crashing around me. It could either be my lack of organization, or lack of energy and effort to uphold what has already been built. But at the same time it's helping me see whats not working out so I can change and make it better...I don't know...I think I'm just being paranoid and scared that I might not be able to do this...I KNOW I'm capable but it seems I've done nothing but fall off the charts ever since this started...I need to pick this up. Maybe a girl isn't really what I need right now. Poor thing might get fed up with all my "business" talk and lack of reality for a second. At least I don't need to worry about anything or anyone besides myself at the moment. The only one good thing I think I did was to bring in an old friend and co-worker to the field. She is becoming a monster. She is my prodigy. It's almost wierd to see a clone worker. I think the only reason why I have what I have right now is because of what she has done. She definitely has the same mindset so I think this ship will run smoother. Plus a "woman's touch" to the office does wonders on making this place not look like a bachelor pad rather than an Insurance office.
I'm glad that she isn't dramatic though. I've had quite a dramatic week as well. About 5 people have been having some serious trouble. Me included. And I'm tending to every single one of them. This month seems to be an emotional month for everyone. And they ALL have to do with relationships. One is getting divorced...another is breaking up...another finds out about ex's...another about more ex's...another just doesn't give a rip...Jeez man...The love horoscope was wrong all month. "Your relationships will be stronger and turmoil will be subdued." Hmm....interesting concept.
Well regardless of the series of unfortunate events, life is still interesting and exciting. All is well!
How could I have just opened up so quick and easy. How could I have just used those 3 sacred yet deadly words without remembering it's value. Tsk tsk to myself. But despite of what I did to myself, It does not seem bother me as much as past battles. Perhaps I've grown numb to it? Or maybe a natural expectancy so my body would be earlier prepared for what seems to constantly happen when I act upon excitement and high hopes.
I'm back in limbo. Another chapter ends..no...wait....Mini-Saga...ya that sounds cooler. The ride is over and now I'm off to find another unnecessarily long line for the next attraction. "?? wait time" for another 10 second rush. These are those times when loneliness decides to kick in and pound my face with one of those blow up hammers from the carnival. But at the same time I guess it's a good thing. I'm caught up with so many other things going on anyways and I can't let any of this get me down or in the way. I literally can't afford it. I need to sell policies even if im sobbing in front of the clients. Hell, it might even get them to "pity buy" from me.
Speaking of business, It seems to be going okay. Not amazing but okay. I'm definitely making more, but it seems like things are slowly crashing around me. It could either be my lack of organization, or lack of energy and effort to uphold what has already been built. But at the same time it's helping me see whats not working out so I can change and make it better...I don't know...I think I'm just being paranoid and scared that I might not be able to do this...I KNOW I'm capable but it seems I've done nothing but fall off the charts ever since this started...I need to pick this up. Maybe a girl isn't really what I need right now. Poor thing might get fed up with all my "business" talk and lack of reality for a second. At least I don't need to worry about anything or anyone besides myself at the moment. The only one good thing I think I did was to bring in an old friend and co-worker to the field. She is becoming a monster. She is my prodigy. It's almost wierd to see a clone worker. I think the only reason why I have what I have right now is because of what she has done. She definitely has the same mindset so I think this ship will run smoother. Plus a "woman's touch" to the office does wonders on making this place not look like a bachelor pad rather than an Insurance office.
I'm glad that she isn't dramatic though. I've had quite a dramatic week as well. About 5 people have been having some serious trouble. Me included. And I'm tending to every single one of them. This month seems to be an emotional month for everyone. And they ALL have to do with relationships. One is getting divorced...another is breaking up...another finds out about ex's...another about more ex's...another just doesn't give a rip...Jeez man...The love horoscope was wrong all month. "Your relationships will be stronger and turmoil will be subdued." Hmm....interesting concept.
Well regardless of the series of unfortunate events, life is still interesting and exciting. All is well!
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
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